Joni Goes Out On A Limb...November 13, 2004

And this is where things start to get scary...For Joni, that was... The thing is, that because of the distance between them, Stephen and Joni always had honesty and risk-taking and throwing everything out on the line built in to their relationship.

I mean, what was the worst that could happen? For them, at this point, before meeting each other, or even speaking on the phone, a bad breakup would have meant no more email. No drunk-dialing, no hoping to bump into the other person at the store or the corner bar, no getting updates from the mutual friends, no anything usually involved in these "gee, I really like you, let's see if there's something there" situations. Which means that there's no reason not to fly without a net, there's no reason for them not to take big chances, and climb out on big limbs.

But then again, what is it they say about hindsight?

Below is Joni's email response to Stephen's Amorphous Email of the same day... this one lays the groundwork for them to either keep going along the same path, or part ways. Again, big, huge, scary moment at the time, inevitable move looking at it in hindsight...


"Hey stephen,

O.K., first off, your email, despite being all over the map, precisely mirrors how (dare I say - "us", or the notion thereof) makes me feel. I, too have been all over the map on this particular issue.

I appreciate your deepest desire not to hurt me. In fact, that's really one of the nicer things that anybody has said to me, since I know you mean it and that it stems from a greater desire to like me. Indeed, if I lived there, or if you lived here, this would be the simplest of matters, quickily settled with an arm wrestle over who gets custody of Rupert Murdoch and then who's going to cook dinner tonight.

Don't think that i haven't seen down the line to the "long long long term issue", as you phrased it. I have, and to be chaotically honest as well, it makes me want to beat my head up against a wall with frustration. I mean, we both have this deep deep sense of home, and if we ever did get to the point where we'd have to choose a life together or apart, it would tear me up to ask you to give up what you seem to want most out of life - getting back to the farm and taking it over from your dad - just to be with me. And I know it would be hard for me to leave this place and these people. I don't know that I could do it for the rest of my life. But I also don't know that I couldn't do it if I were certain that the price to pay was worth it (ie. knowing that the only person in this world who is right for me is on the other side of it, and that the frequent flyer miles accumulated going home once a year, or meeting family halfway, like Hawaii, could one day get me and mine free travel to Tuscany...)

I look at this whole you-me thing as a great experience, and honestly, the best moments of my day, every day. Look, judging from your email, (and I'm going out on a limb here, so bear with me) it seems like you might feel like I do, that when I get an email from you with something like "Banquo's ghost" or "Yassar Araft finally made a lasting contribution to the Middle East Peace Process", I beat my deak and cry out "My God, I could so love this boy - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (scream of deep, deperate fear!!) then, I temper that with "But he's on the other side of the planet, so I can't love him. It will never work out, and we'll only get hurt." Then, there's this calming realization that everything happens for a reason, Stephen. And you know what, maybe we are meant to be together, and maybe we're not. That's obviously not something we are just supposed to divine from tea leaves right now or anything, just one of those "you don't know" moments when I channel Angie. (that's her catchphrase every time I say something derisive about my future.)

Anyway, here's the crux of where I was just now trying to go: God makes two people absolutely right for one another on this Earth, whether or not He made us for one another and then, due to our poor behavior, dropped us on opposite sides of the planet, is not for us to know - but, what I do know is that before I met you, I was wandering, searching, and not knowing what I was even looking for, making my odds of ever finding anyone somewhere between slim and none. It sounds like since your bad experience last year, and all the time you dedicate to your career, that you were similarly lost in the same department as I. And here's the thing - you are the benchmark by which I will now judge every man I might meet. You have so completely set the bar for a girl who never even had standards before. You have made me realize what I want most out of whoever I end up with, and to not settle for less, seeing as how the benchmark exists, somebody in the world has to fill it. And maybe I never find someone else to come close to the benchmark, but at least I know that someone exists who set it. All right, I know that probably didn't make any sense at all - but it's where I am.

And speaking to your barbeque posture, there's no words to express how badly I wish I could be the girl to fill it. Or that you could assume the same position with me on the couch in Angie and Frank's sunroom, engaging in witty banter and conversation with them.

now, as for "us", there's four ways in which I think we could settle this:

1. We could decide to just roll with this, and play it by ear, and mull over the possibility of maybe meeting halfway sometime next year - like in Hawaii,(or Ireland, if we go the other way) to see if we even would want more than a great friendship. The way I see it, that way, no matter what, we both get a vacation, and the opportunity to hang out and have fun with someone we know we'd have a good time with. And then, from there, we see where we go.

2. We could arm wrestle to see who moves across the international date line, and settle the Rupert Murdoch dispute thusly at the same time.

3. We could just accept this great friendship of ours, continue to curse and growl at the Pacific Ocean, and just keep enjoying what we have, and you could just accept your "benchmark" status,and continue to act accordingly.

4. We could settle this emotional unease on both our parts the French way - we could cut and run. (But, despite my French lineage, I don't really think that's the solution.)

O.K. - that was my bout of chaotic honesty. I know I'm out on a limb here, and I am scared to death of how you might take in and process what all I just threw out there. But, you know what? I'm gonna send this anyway, and if you decide that you don't want to hear any more from me, well, then, I guees it's a good thing that you picked up the Doomsday Book the other night.

So, I am, very truly -
Thine,
- Joni"

Amorphous Email...November 13, 2004

And in the "growing big emotions" stakes, Stephen began setting the bar for Joni with this dispatch... That bar would be the "having standards" bar, and the "being in a real, grown-up relationship" bar. Seriously.

There's an honesty between Stephen and Joni, and the foundation for that cornerstone of their relationship was laid in this email below.

"Hi Joni,

I’m still coming down off the high from our exchange of emails earlier this evening! Anyway, this is the further email I was going to send you. There’s one topic in particular that I had in mind to cover in it, because it seems a kind of opportune moment.

What I had in mind was you and me or (dare I so phrase it?) "us". When I write or talk abut stuff like this, usually all I do is make a fool of myself, but it seems kind of right to do so. No, I’m not about to say "I like you, but not in that way" or anything like that. I’m not quite sure if I’m even trying to make a particular point: all I’ve got is a few random thoughts that I can’t seem to synthesise into a single thing.

Look, I think the core of it is that I’d hate to hurt you. Even though we’ve only known each other for about 2 months now, I kind of think I feel something for you, and (at the risk of saying too much) I get the impression you do too. I’m not at all an expert in interpersonal relations, and I’m kind of out of my depth in knowing a girl who likes me like I like her. I’m not sure what on earth to do! And I’m not entirely sure what it is that I feel, so I’d hate to mislead you and cause you pain. Look, if you lived here, right now I’d be saying you were my girlfriend. I guess you still are/could be despite being in another hemisphere. But because interrelationships aren’t my strong suit of experience, I’m not sure what to do or say that will tell you exactly what’s on my mind.

Umm, OK, that was totally amorphous and unhelpful. Another wandering thought is that (probably getting well and truly ahead of oneself here), I’m not sure about the long long long term issue – I can’t for obvious reasons, up traps here and move to the USA forever, and because you’re close to your family, it wouldn’t be fair to expect you to move all the way out here. Yeah, I know anything like that is an issue so far off in any hypothetical and emotional future as not to be an issue, but it’s something that niggles at the back of my mind. Which I guess leads back to the same issue of not wanting to hurt you. (See what being a lawyer does to you? You crave certainty to the ‘n’th degree!?!)

And, look, to allay a concern in your email of earlier today, no, the photo of you that you sent me doesn’t come into it at all. To be frank, I actually think you’re pretty good on that score! And yes, I *do* mean that. Put it this way: If I were going to a barbeque at a friend’s place, I’d have no qualms at all about taking you, and standing there in classic posture, with a beer in my left hand and my right arm round your waist.

OK, now I’ve sent you this shambles of vagueness, I guess all I can do is wait and see what you think. Apologies for the uncertainty in this email about what I’m trying to get across – I think you’d say it’s all in this grab-bag of things labeled "how I feel about you", and I can’t make it all fit together. It’s all honest, really it is – meaning I’m trying to tell you exactly what I think and feel about you. Maybe you can see some kind of sense and order in it all. I hope so. Look, I hope I haven’t been too over-the-top here. Hopefully even chaotic honesty counts as a plus!

OK, I guess I’ll hear from you soon.
Thine,

Stephen"

Stephen's First Look...November 7, 2004

Now being sure that she liked what she saw on the other end of 10,000 miles of fiber optic cable, Joni decided to take an immeasureable risk and send Stephen a picture of her veryownself from her trip to Ireland. So, she picked out the best pictures from her trip, took a deep breath, and sent them along the lines and waited to see what would happen... Below is Joni's email to Stephen, and the photos she sent him of her trip...


"Hey Stephen,

It always cracks me up that today is tomorrow for you, and that right now, you're probably curled up at home with pizza and whiskey, watching the news, or listening to the science programs on the radio, and here I am, having just gotten up and checking email before getting ready to go to Mass at some point during the day.

Thanks for the pictures, I love them! It is only appropos that the Che-Lover IS on the Far-Left, I suppose he would like a Scooby Snack? (If you know what I mean... You know, the whole theory that the whole SCooby Doo gang was a bunch of drug-crazed hippies. Like Scooby and Shaggy were always stoned, since they were always hungry, etc. etc.?) Wow, Canberra looks like an incredible place from up where you were. I think it's a great idea for whoever designed the War Memorial to have those boys forever looking at all that they sacrificed to protect and defend. I think it's kind of like how they purposfully placed all the tombstones at Arlington National Cemetery in formation, so that no matter which angle you look at it from, it looks like all these markers (men) are still standing in formation, ready for whatever orders they may get. I loved that about that place. How there is this incredibly sacred feel to the grounds, and to the house itself.

O.K. - I am sending you some of the photos from my Ireland adventure. There is a picture from the cemetery at the Rock of Cashel, looking down on the plain of Tipperary, one of this cool flagstone arch I took because the stones were so small (none were thicker than 1 to 2 inches, except the keystone, which might have been 4 or 5 inches wide) and yet this arch, and this similarly constructed abbey are still standing after nearly 1,000 years. So amazing! Also, another photo I took thinking you might be interested is of this marker in the Cobh Heritage Center, regarding a priest who made the trek to Van Deimen's Island to minister to his flock there. Finally, there's me, getting good and fired up at the prospect of attending the medieval banquet in the BUnratty castle, also attached. Anyway, there's plenty more pictures, including some from the Guiness storehouse, just dripping with historic machinery, if you're interested.

Finally, if we ever do exchange snail mail, I picked up the geneaology brochure at Cobh, the info you gave me on Catherine Falvey was not enough to fill out the form and have a reasonable expectation of getting any complete info on her. I brought back the form to get to you somehow, so that you could head to your parents' with it and fill it out right and proper. Also, I picked up another brochure for a similar service in County Clare. I figure I'll finish reading that Keneally book and send it all to you, along with a cd of the pictures from my trip.

Thanks so so so much for the article on Mooronification, I printed it out and brought it to Angie and Frank last night. We all laughed heartily! Thanks!! To return the favor somewhat, let me introduce you to Scrappleface.com, the best CONSERVATIVE satire site out there. here's one of my very recent favs, http://www.scrappleface.com/MT/archives/001913.html headline: Bush Swats Kofi Annan With Rolled Up Newspaper - Yes, it's exactly what you think. Enjoy!

Have a great day, and be happy, too!
- joni"

Joni's First Look...November 6, 2004

The first photos were exchanged between Stephen and Joni in November of 2004, after they decided they liked each other, but well before they decided that they could even try to have a relationship across the world's largest ocean...

Below is Stephen's email with his first photos attached...


"Hi Joni,

This is only a short email – I’ve been at the office all day (Sunday), so there’s not much more to tell you that I didn’t say in yesterday’s email. Well, if you’re interested, I’m going swimming in about half an hour – I went to the gym on Friday and overdid the iron-pumping. As a result my arms feel like they’ve been pummeled with a meat tenderizer! So I thought something more gentle, like swimming, was in order.

Anyway, the reason for this email was to send you a few photos. I’ve picked the ones I thought you’d like and am in the process of scanning them into my computer. These are the first couple.

The top one is of me at a class reunion with some of my friends from school on 12 February this year. I’m the one in the suit at the far right of the photo (It seems so appropriate that the guy in the Che Guevara t-shirt is on the far left, doesn’t it?). Before you leap to any conclusions about me based on that photo, let me point out 2 things: (1) I don’t have a moustache, it’s just the way the lighting was; (2) All the weight loss I’ve previously described myself undergoing has happened SINCE that photo was taken.

The other photo is one I took when I was in Canberra with my father on 5 January this year. It’s the view from the steps of the Australian War Memorial, looking back down over Lake Burley Griffin towards to Old and New Parliament Buildings. The spire you can see in the distance, at the centre of the photo, is part of the new parliament; the old parliament is right in front of it. I thought it was one of the photos I’ve taken that REALLY worked well.

OK, I’ll wrap this up and go for that swim. Hope you like the photos; I’ll send more soon.

Be happy,
Stephen"

International Travel Changes Everything... October 20, 2004

Joni went on a head-clearing trip to Ireland with her Mom in October of 2004 for 7 days. But before Joni travels, she gets a little uptight about things potentially going wrong, and so she feels the need to tell Stephen some things that had been rattling around her head, just in case she never comes back... So, basically, Joni wrote Stephen a dispatch just before leaving for the airport whining about geography, and extolling the virtues of Stephen, and explaining how she's all mixed up, and having feelings for him, despite the distance which makes a relationship between them impossible (I know, hindsight, you know?)


And so, while in an internet cafe in the town of Swords, Ireland, Joni reads the following email from Stephen, and spends the next 5 days driving across Ireland with the most goofy grin on her face, just amazed that any guy in the world, much less this guy, would put this much thought into a dream date with her!


"Hey CajunCoulter,

Arrrgh, irritation!! I didn’t expect you to still be on your email, so I was taking some time to reply to your last 2 emails. If I’d known you’d be looking at it at 5:30AM, I’d have made sure you got a reply – so much I wanted to put in! (that said, I’ve now only left myself 20 minutes to reply in. Hmm, let’s see how far I can get).

Anyway, first up, thank you SO SO SO SO SO much for saying all those nice things about me in your recent emails!!!!!!! I was truly stoked when I read that! And indeed, grrr at geography (and the Pacific Ocean in particular). I was doing much the same grousing as you: Why the hell did you have to be on another bloody continent??? You’re the sort of girl I’ve wished I could meet here (although, me being me, the odds are we’d never have even exchanged "hello"s if you’d actually been here – see why I love the Internet?). I can picture even now what would have happened had you been here – exactly where we could have gone for a beer (the Colonial Hotel – quiet, great atmosphere), and where we could have gone afterwards (Swanston Walk Bar – best lamb kebabs in Melbourne), and where we could have gone after that (Crown Promenade, to watch the LPG flares), followed by rum and coffee at the Charles Dickens Tavern. Sigh – why did you have to be all the way over there?? You’re exactly what I would have sought: intelligent, practical, professional, love to see how things are built, you and I know what each other are talking about, love kids, and are indeed good and conservative! Snarl at geography!

And (you’re not going to believe this), I’m now out of time. Sorry for this email being so short. I guess the above was one of the things I particularly wanted to say – without being pompous about it, you seemed to me to be going out on a bit of a limb in your other email didn’t seem fair for me to be hedging. Forgive me if I’ve been more outspoken than is welcome – I can put a sock in it if desired.

OK, more tomorrow – probably you’ll come back to a bundle of moderate length emails!
AussiePatriot"

An Inkling.... October 6, 2004

This email just absolutely tickled me, and made me think of Stephen in a whole new light. He was not only brilliant, but now he was funny and a comical figure. And I love to laugh, so you can only imagine how this went a long way from transitioning him from just an interesting guy to an interesting guy with "guy" potential... Below is his email that really, really tickled me. Poor baby. Every time I read it, I can't help but think that Murphy's Law does exist and is out there to kick us in the teeth every now and then...

" Hey CajunCoulter,

How are things? I’m taking sort-of a break from work before I plough back inot it. I say "sort of" because I’ve already had one, and it’s after working hours anyway. To clarify: I’m one of the Red Cross’ plasma donors, I went down to the Blood Bank after work today to give blood, I’ve now returned to the office, and before I start doing some work I’ll send you an email. Whew!!
Yesterday evening was a good example of Murphy’s law in action. After I sent that email to you, I got the train … which was then delayed for an hour because another train got slightly derailed.

So I was an hour late for the committee meeting by the time I’d got to my place, got my car, and driven round there. Then, after the meeting, I stopped off at the supermarket to pick up a few little luxuries (you know, bread, things like that). When I got back out to the car-park, I see a trail of water leaking away from my car. Hmm, thinks I, not a good sign, but there’s not a lot I can do here. I’ll risk it for 15 more minutes and drive back to my place. I duly did so. Well, when I got the car stopped at the front of my flat, there was steam rolling out from under the bonnet. Sigh. OK, get a torch and have a look under the bonnet and throw my suit jacket on the front seat of the car. OK, no major problem – a tiny hole had appeared in one of the radiator hoses and was blasting out steam and water and coolant. Fine, the sort of problem I should be able to fix with a rubber patch and some heavy duct tape. Oh well, it’s 11:20PM. I’m NOT going to start pulling the cooling system apart tonight. Lock the door and slam it shut. … … Oh dear…

Yes, there were my car keys. Safely sitting on the drivers seat of my nice safely locked car. I had one of those moments that made me wonder what extremely evil thing I’m one day going to do that I’m being pre-emptively punished for. I mean, will I wonder order a genocide or is being a lawyer sufficient for this? I then spent about 20 minutes trying to pick the lock with a length of wire (uh uh) and to force the window open (also uh uh). Ultimately I rang my little sister (from whom I bought the car), who’s currently working night shifts at Royal Melbourne Hospital. Umm, did she keep one of the keys to the car when she sold it to me. Yes, she had. Could she it in the mail box next time she’s going past? Yes, she could. I now owe her a 6-pack of Crown Lager.

This, though, has affected my plans for handing out how to vote cards (I’ll explain about them in a minute) on Saturday. Even though I’ll be happy enough to rely on my repairs if I’m just driving around Melbourne, I’m NOT going to go all the way to Drouin and Leongatha in a car which is developing more than a little bit of engine trouble. I can do quite a few things to keep my car running, but trying that on Saturday would probably leave me stranded somewhere in West Gippsland at about 2:00AM on Sunday morning. So I called a car rental place this morning and I’ll hire a car to use for the trip – that way the engine should be in top form, the spare tyre reliable, and if I have engine trouble and break down (or, God forbid, have a prang), some one else has to worry about arranging the towing and repairs. All I need to do is put $500 insurance bond on the line, which I’m comfortable enough about my driving skills to do.

You asked me about "how to vote" cards. I’d better explain – they’re a bit of an Australian oddity. We use preferential voting here, where you vote by numbering the candidates for your seat in the order in which you prefer them from 1-whatever. When the votes are counted, they just count the first preferences. If that doesn’t produce a candidate with 50% of the first preferences, the candidate with the lowest number of first preferences is excluded, and they add to the remaining candidates’ tallies the number of second preferences each of them received from the excluded candidate’s ballot papers. This process continues until (a) one candidate has over 50% of all votes and (b - usually) there’s no prospect of any other candidate getting over 50% on the uncounted preferences. The practical upshot of this is that the preferences of losing candidates can affect who wins a seat and (by extension) who wins government (don’t forget that the Prime Minister is only the leader of the party with a majority in the House of Representatives, and himself a member of Parliament John Howard is the member for the seat of Bennelong). So, it’s vitally important to secure not just first preferences, but later ones as well. So people need to vote in the right order, hence the need for how-to-vote cards, which set out what this order is. What makes this election troubling is that there’ll be a large vote for the Green Party (possibly as big as 10-12%), and nearly all these voters will give their second preference to Labour. On the flipside, the Liberal and National Parties will pick up preferences from the Family First Party, a pro-Christian party closely tied to the Pentecostalist Church. Their preferences won’t cancel out the Greens, but they will take the edge off them.

OK, here endeth the lesson on the Electoral Act 1901. There’s not a lot of other political news from here. No new polls – there’ll be a NewsPoll on Friday. Although currently the bookies at Centrebet have very much made their pick about the winner. I think I quoted some odds to you a few emails ago. The odds have shifted again – Howard’s now on slightly less than even money (a $1 bet would win you $1.20) Latham is on worse than 4 to 1 ($1 would get you $4.50 if he wins).

OK, what else? Are you still stuck with the enthralling task of reading about slurry pump wear? Thank you so so so much for reminding me of Ann Coulter’s column about the telepathic John Edwards – I’d forgotten that! Believe me, I’ve no sympathy for him just because he’s a trial lawyer. I hear he took a contingency fee on winning cases of 30% of the freaking award – that’s atrocious by any standards. I don’t begrudge him making money at all still, I’m a little bit embarrassed to see a member of the legal profession acting with THAT much unseemly greed.

For the records, contingency fees (i.e. charging a percentage) is illegal in Australian law. If he practiced here, he would have lost his practicing certificate and (for a fee that big) possible even been struck off the roll of practitioners. It sounds like fun though, doesn’t it? Maybe I should try that with my boss: "Nick, can I PLEASE tell the court I’m being spoken to by the dead? What about being contacted by someone on the other side of the universe? Or I’m getting my instructions from the King of the Potato People?? What about it, hey?". But no. What do I get? I get bad backs, dislocated knees and assault victims. How did Cheney go? I haven’t seen the reviews yet, but I think Edwards would have surely come across as a lightweight. Really, eeeeeeeevillllll Halliburton presumably took some sort of skill to run (for instance, Cheney managed to run it when he couldn’t read its accounts. At least, I assume he couldn’t read them – I understand from your liberal media over there that he’s really Darth Vader and so I assume he couldn’t see the account pages through those black perspex eye covers. Now I think of it, why not just get Cheney to campaign AS Darth Vader? Or at least propose to make him Defence Secretary – you could have your defence policy co-ordinated by a man who blows up planets just to make a point. The North Koreans would be petrified…)

I just re-read that last paragraph. Before you ask, no, I’m not taking acid. My imagination went wandering, that’s all.

It’s pretty bad about the people killed in the swamp boat accident – terrible for them, and perhaps even worse for their families. Death comes to all of us but you don’t want it to come like that.

In answer to the issue about the possible photos of me in make-up and dresses … Godammit I thought I had the records destroyed! Who let on to you anyway? Huh? Or is there something on the internet I should know about?? Actually, most of the embarrassing photos of me while young tend to involve nudity (no, nothing dodgy). The one that is embarrassing is one where the camera was a bit out of whack and the focus makes it look like my head constitutes a third of my body. There are some good ones though! One of me in particular has me sitting on the floor, looking could-have-been-angelic-if-I-wasn’t-dribbling! Come one, let on – is there any photo of you that’s going to appear when you least expect it??? (again, I’m not asking about anything like THAT – I think that’s a market Paris Hilton has well and truly cornered).

You mentioned the Antique Arms Collectors Guild – you’d love that, I think. Because it’s mostly genuine antique and collectable arms we collect, we don’t shoot them (although there’s a BIG community of blackpowder shooters here). There’s certainly a lot of collectors of American Civil War material here a genuinely surprising amount shows up at the gun shows. In answer to your question – my collecting interest is the Raj – the period of British rule in India. I haven’t really been able to collect much though, due to (a) slight financial shortage and (b) the insanely stringent storage requirements for firearms here (I’ll bore you with that another time). So, my collection at the moment consists of a single Lee-Enfield "India Pattern" bayonet circa World War Two, and a medal from the Royal Punjab Engineers that I’m trying to trace the provenance of. I also have a couple of ordinary rifles for target shooting and hunting (a Sako .222 and a Brno .22). Do you do any shooting at all? I’m guessing a lot of people do where you are – If I recall, I think there’s a lot of small game in Louisiana? Am I right?

OK, I just hit 4 pages on M’soft Word – I’d better get SOME work done before I get out of here. At least I’ve sent you a decent long email for once!

I hope all’s well with you – should be sending you something more tomorrow!
Till then…
AussiePatriot"

How it all got started... September 20, 2004

O.K. - So here's how it all got started. I sent Stephen an email through one of those online dating websites. (The funny part about this whole story is that the website we met through is singlerepublican.com...That usually cracks up folks who hear the story. But then again, I do work in the environmental field, so it's pretty much out of right field, so to speak...) Anyway, I sent Stephen a message that basically said that he sounded like an interesting guy, and it might be fun to share some email banter across the big blue water. Little did either of us know that email banter would turn into finding the love of our lives... As you can see from the text below, we were both on that website for a reason... How we got from this email to being completely in love is quite a fun ride... Below is his first email to me:

" Hi CajunCoulter!
Very pleased to hear from you. Forgive me if my response now is a bit rushed – juggling a few things and in a bit of a hurry. Anyway – yep, I’d enjoy some e-mail banter as well. If only because both you and us are going through close elections at the moment and I’d enjoy having someone to talk to about it! Umm, where to begin? Well, yeah, we have much the same problem with liberal media over here. Believe me, some of them really do loathe conservative belief – and American conservative belief – as much as you might have heard (a case in point: The "Age" newspaper, an ultra-liberal journal in Melbourne,. Cheerfully prints letters like – and I quote – "Anyone who can persuade an American to think is a bloody genius there is precious little evidence that they can do so unaided"). On the other hand, there’s a sizeable whack of opinion that DOESN’T view the world that way: We elected a conservative gov’t in 1996 and have had it ever since (and, God willing, we’ll have it for another 3 years). Umm, what else? Well, there is an election on here. To sum up how it works (quickly, as I assume you weren’t actually after a dissertation on comparative constitutional law), the election is for the House of Representatives and the Senate the party holding the most seats in the House of Reps is able to form government. The conservative government here is a coalition of the (confusingly named) Liberal Party and National Party (yay to the last of these!!!) the challengers are the Australian Labour Party (essentially, socialists and left-wing liberals their leader, Mark Latham, is on record as describing President Bush as "the most incompetent and dangerous president in living memory". [Don’t blame me, I’m trying to prevent this clown from being elected]). The government is going into this election with a 12 seat majority, but the polls aren’t entirely comforting.

OK, I hope this email made sense – sorry if it’s a bit random I’m not usually this rushed! Anyway, great to hear from you – look forward to hearing from you again!

AussiePatriot"