I've been lazy too long ... The blog shall be re-born!

Right after I draft this letter

Oh yeah - and Joni is pregnant!

And now, the high point of the story...


Hello again everyone!

You can probably tell that the last email was largely written before the wedding. I began it, but then wedding stuff took over and it took forever to come back to it.

I forgot to say that while Joni was traveling I spent most of my time in New Orleans in the company of her brother Philip and one of his friends. This was pretty unremarkable except for going to the Greek Festival. This festival centres around the Greek Orthodox cathedral on Bayou St John. Many, many tables of fetta, olives, ouzo (ever had an ouzo daiquiri?) and baklavas (I was in a happy place). Also grilled lamb, which I've never before seen in the US. As I understand it, the Greek community in New Orleans took a big hit in Hurricane Katrina - a lot of that community moved away from the City - but it seems to have rebounded strongly now.

Moving on: From last Sunday my people began arriving - my oldest sister and her fellow arrived in NO where Philip and I had dinner with them. They then went on to Pensacola to do some scuba diving, and then returned from there to Thibodaux. On Wednesday last week my parents also dropped out of the sky in NO after spending a couple of days in Denver. Some where in this mix my second oldest sister and her husband also arrived in Thibodaux after spending a bit better than a week in San Francisco.

The time between that Wednesday and the wedding was filled with my people meeting Joni's people. I guess I should spare you the details of all of that. Although, one of the highpoints was taking my people (I.e. sisters plus parents) on a tour to Laura Plantation (a Creole plantation where the "Uncle Remus" stories were collected - "please don' throw me in a briar patch brer fox!") and on a swamp tour. This last was great fun and got us face to face with alligators and one snapping turtle. This all took place on the Friday before the wedding. I was pretty nervous and distracted on that day, and I must have looked it pretty bad as a couple of people commented on it the next day.

I forgot to say that on the Thursday before the wedding we had the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal supper. The wedding rehearsal is probably self explanatory. The rehearsal supper is, if you like, the formal part of the reception done on its own. It's a formal sit-down meal limited to the immediate family of the couple and to the wedding party ( I.e. maid of honour, bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen). We had this at Madewood Plantation (the wallpaper on my computer at work, if you're interested). GREAT venue!

The night before the wedding I stayed at Joni's place and she slept at her parent's place in Labadieville. It was not a good night: to be frank, by 11:00 I was thinking "I can't do this… I can't go through with it…". So, I sat down that night and for a couple of hours the next morning and thought about all the pros and cons of marrying Joni. Well, by the end I was able to commit myself to it, and I did.

As I've surely bored you all with before, the wedding took place at St Philomena's church, Labadieville, on June 2nd before Fr Jason Labbe. Joni's maid of honour was her niece Amy Rivere; my best man was Joni's nephew Dave LeBlanc. Both of them, due to a quirk in birth dates, only a few years younger than she and I! I guess we've all been to weddings before, so I'll let the photos tell the story when they finally come up online. All I'd note is that we had to spend most of the service kneeling (Joni, Amy, Dave and me): we were all wondering if this would be the first wedding involving anointment with Deep Heat and reception of vows by a chiropractor.

Anyway, I did, and she did, and now we are!!!

The reception took place at the Thibodaux country club. A Cajun wedding reception is, frankly, something different from anything else you might ever have seen. The dinner is essentially a buffet with an open bar, no speeches, and a lot of music. There's two traditions unique to the Cajun people. One is the broom dance. If a person in the family marries before one of their older brothers, the said brother is required to dance barefoot with a broom. Joni's brother Phil is unmarried: he took this as an opportunity to make the broom dance his own. Wait for the photos! The other tradition is the money dance. Basically, folks line up to dance with members of the happy couple, for which privilege they pin money on his tuxedo or her dress. The tradition was originally meant to give the couple a start in married life, and now usually funds the honeymoon. I'm trying not to be hurt that Joni made twice as much money in the dance as I did!

Joni and I snuck away from the reception just before it finished for a night all to ourselves in the honeymoon suite at Madewood. I can tell you it was good to finally get a few moments alone!

Over the following couple of days we met with Joni's people again (a crab boil this time), then returned my people to the airport at NO to start their various trips back to Australia. Joni and I spent a night in New Orleans at the Hotel Monteleone (which included many, many trips around on the carousel bar) after which we also returned to Thibodaux. We've since been here most of the time, doing the fairly mundane things I guess you'd expect: packing her stuff and preparing for her to move to Australia; changing her name on her drivers licence, and adding me to her bank accounts. We'll go for a proper honeymoon at Destin in Florida at the end of the week, and then return to Australia next week.

I think that's brought everyone up to speed: I hope you're all doing OK and that winter in Melbourne isn't appalling. In case you're wondering, it's running a steady 25 degrees here. I haven't felt the need for a pullover while I've been here: God help me when I get back to Melbourne!

I should send a few more dispatches while I here (hopefully); failing which I'll bring you all up to speed when I finally see you all again!

Stephen

We did it!!!

I think the story needs a little updating from where it left off last (i.e. with the proposal in July 2006). After that, Stephen returned to Australia, Joni returned to work, and life failed to return to normal. That is, Joni now had a wedding to plan, Stephen had a religion to convret to, and they both had immigration documents to prepare. Between then and the big day, Joni made a further pilgrimage to Melbourne for a Thanksgiving 2006 cookapalooza for the Tuck clan. We then didn't see each other for 6 solid months, after which Stephen travelled to the USA to wed Joni. The story so far is described below in an email to Stephen's work friends titled "Give me your tired, your poor, and a Goddamn aisle seat!" ...

Hi everyone,

As I recall, the Statue of Liberty says "send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses longing to breathe free". Well, Joni's migration to Australia has now seen her tired (which she still is), poor (in specific terms), huddled (in several consecutive window seats) and longing to breathe free (40 hours breathing recycled airliner air can do that to you).

Perhaps I should explain.

The best news of the week is that on Friday her passport arrived back from the Australian embassy in Washington, complete with her prospective marriage visa. Hence, she was allowed to migrate to Australia subject to two conditions. One, that she has to marry within 9 months of the visa being granted. Two, that she not marry before first entering Australia on that visa. The first of these obviously isn't a problem. The second we were aware of when applying for the visa. Some of you may already know that we'd planned to get around this by having a purely religious wedding: that is, we'd go through the rite of marriage prescribed by the Catholic church, but without having a marriage licence. Hence, no marriage known to the law of the State of Louisiana. Therefore no marriage as far as the Department of Immigration was concerned. Which would let her marry me in the church, then we'd marry civilly in Victoria once installed there. We'd sought advice from lawyers in Melbourne and Louisiana who both said this plan was legally sound, if unorthodox. So, that was what we'd do. Plain sailing all the way to the chapel and beyond, right?

Wrong.

The flaw in the plan was that it assumed that the church would go along with it. When we met with Fr Trey (one of the priests at St Philomena's Church) he doubted that it could be done but made a few enquiries, including with the office of the Bishop of Baton Rouge. Ultimately the answer came back: yes, what you want to do can be done, but no, the bishop won't provide the necessary approval as a matter of policy. There followed a call to the Embassy, who were sympathetic but clear: the requirement to enter Australia before marrying cannot be waived, although there's no minimum time to be spent in Australia.
So there was one option left: hop onto the website of United Airlines, book a return ticket to Sydney, go through immigration in Sydney, then fly back. Sounds insane? Yes it was. Oh, and she would have to make that trip alone: My visa allows me to stay in the US till 22 November, but only if I don't leave. So, Saturday evening Joni starts the long round trip from New Orleans - Los Angeles - Sydney - Auckland - Los Angeles - New Orleans. She safely passed through immigration in Sydney, and left the country 8 hours later with her passport duly stamped, arriving back in NO on Monday evening, 20,000 miles later, tired, jetlagged, and completely sick to death of air travel.

Eight Hours. It must be one of the shortest stays in the history of migration.

Anyway, the good news is that this means she can properly migrate to Australia once we're married. The wedding bits will be the subject of the next email.

Stephen.

The REAL Proposal...July, 2006



So, Stephen comes back to the bayou for the final, real-deal o.k. from Joni's old man on whether or not he is going to really be able to take Joni off the bayou and back to Melbourne.



But first, Joni was the "emotional white girl of the day" for the United baggage claim lady at New Orleans International Airport on the way back from Australia in March. To make a VERY long story as short as possible: due to lengthy baggage claim delays at customs in L.A., and United's sucky baggage handlers who clearly cannot read the big orange "Rush - Short Connection" tags attached to her luggage, Joni missed her connection in L.A., and therefore, was stuck an extra 14 hours in L.A. This translated into one piece of her baggage not making her connection in Chicago, and, after an extra half-day's delay getting home, Joni will now be picked up by her parents, instead of Angie. Of course, the bag that didn't make the connection happened to have Stephen's shirt which smelled like him in it. Hence, Joni nearly becoming the baggage chick's "emotional white girl of the day". What had her on the edge was the fact that she was going to have to tell her parents that she and Stephen were planning on getting married, and he would be traveling to the bayou to ask Dad if he could take Joni home forever.



Finally, here's the story of the real proposal. After a dinner with the Cajun Corleone, Stephen and Joni went to Baton Rouge for a play day, and on the way back, Stephen asked that they stop at Madewood, for a picture of Joni in front of the crown jewel of the bayou. Come to find out, this was a pretense for a proposal. He suggested that they stroll down to the bayouside to check out the bayou and the sunset behind it. Just before the proposal, Joni snapped this photo of a nervous Stephen. Little did she know that he was about to ask her to marry him...



Her reply - "absolutely."

Back to the Story... March, 2006 - Making the BIG Decision

And so it was, that in March of 2006, Joni went back to visit Stephen again. Joni came to believe that this was the best time of year to visit Melbourne - it was Fall, and the weather was beautiful!! Hence the quality time spent lying beneath two palm trees in the Victoria Gardens with a bottle of wine, mocking two semi-Goth kids in the middle of a blazing yelling fight in the middle of the gardens.

It was during this visit that our heroes made the BIG decision to spend their lives together. Funnily enough, there was very much a progression of a proposal throughout the trip, including a non-proposal at Angus and Robertson, a near-proposal at the Twelve Apostles, and an honest-to-God kinda-sorta, 'Hey, we really need to get married' quasi-proposal in Stephen's car.

The Non-Proposal...

JONI: (Standing in front of the bargain table at Angus and Robertson, oogling many, many books on said discount table) "Oh! I always wanted to read this!"

STEPHEN: (Standing next to her) "Yeah, I have that."

JONI: (now oogling another book...) "Oh! I always wanted to read this!"

STEPHEN: (Standing next to her) "Yeah, I have that, too."

JONI: (now oogling another book...) "Oh! I always wanted to read this!"
STEPHEN: (Standing next to her) "Uh, yeah, I have that one, too."

JONI: "Wow! You have everything!"

STEPHEN: "Well, I guess you'll just have to marry me and move to Melbourne to be with me and my book collection." (sharp intake of breath, look of abject terror, and desparate attempt to pull the words back in to his mouth...)

JONI: (now laughing hysterically at the aforementioned look of terror on Stephen's face...) "I know that wasn't really a - you know,"

STEPHEN: "Princess, you know it will be more romantic than that when it does happen, right? You know that wasn't real, right?"

JONI: "Yeah, I know, but you should have seen your face..."

After a Near-Miss... Stephen hits one for six...

Following the non-proposal in Angus and Robertson, Joni and Stephen talked more and more about figuring out forever, and how could they make a marriage work despite the distance and difference between their two homelands.

And so, they embarked on a road trip to the Twelve Apostles, where, come to find out, Stephen had planned on proposing. During that road trip, they got to talk about a ton of things, including marriage and forever. Thus, the near-proposal at the Apostles. But they weren't quite ready, so it remains the near-proposal. But the sunset over the Southern Ocean was priceless and peerless, to be sure.

And then, the quasi-proposal that has led us to this moment, now a few scant weeks away from Stephen and Joni's actual wedding...

So, a funny thing happened on the way from Flinders to Melbourne... after an evening of supper and boiled crabs for Clan Tuck (long story....) when Joni was introduced to two out of three of Stephen's sisters, and, for the first time, Stephen had the opportunity to see whether or not Joni could or would be able to fit in his family, our fearless couple began the trek back to the city. It was during this dark drive back from Flinders that Stephen, moved to boy-tears, realized, out loud, that Joni was the girl he needed to marry. Mainly because he loved her, but what sealed the deal was how she "just fit" in his world, in his family, and in his life. And so, it would happen that night, and then again each day until they would be parted at Melbourne Airport, that Stephen would say with increasing conviction "I want to marry you. I will ask your father. We will be married.".

Does anyone know why I’m feeling weirdly good about things this evening?

Just to update anyone who actually reads this blog (beyond Joni and me), she’s now lodged her fiancée visa application with the Australian embassy in Washington. Depressingly the current turnaround time on her visa is about 4 months, which is beyond the wedding date AND she’s now finished her job. Still, she seems pretty happy nonetheless.

I’ve had my own visa interview at the US Consulate in Melbourne this morning. It’s a curiously unremarkable building at 553 St Kilda Road, Melbourne – the only way you’d know it IS the US Consulate is a discreetly flown stars-and-stripes outside alongside the Australian flag. I noticed a couple of things while going through the process. One was the pictures of W, Cheney and Condi on the wall facing the entry (I duly genuflected and looked daggers at those who winced). The other was that American public servants, even when they’re giving you bad news, are EXTREMELY polite. Seriously, I can’t stress that enough. The chap on the desk at the counter I went to patiently explained why he couldn’t issue a visa today but if I could send in x, y and z, he could do so. Sorry, he couldn’t issue a 5 year visa (which was probably a bit optimistic on my part anyway). His exact words were that it’s a wonderful thing to have an American spouse. However, he explained that they’d be a little reluctant I’d do a runner once in the US and try to stay.

All of which only validates my decision to get a visa rather than rely on the Visa Waiver Program – based on today I suspect if I’d rocked up at the immigration counter at LA without a visa, I’d be a certainty for finding myself on the next flight back to Sydney. Which could really place a crimp in the wedding!

So, here we are: Joni doesn’t have a visa to migrate to Australia yet. I don’t have a visa to travel to the USA. I don’t have a flight booked to go over. I haven’t sorted out leave with my boss. My parents haven’t sorted their flights, and my Dad still doesn’t have a passport. And the wedding’s in 8 weeks, 5 days.

And yet, I feel happy.

It can only be love.

Nerd Love and Field Trips...Nov. 2005

All of the Thanksgiving food, drink, and merrymaking was followed the next day by the quintessential south Louisiana experience: SEC football in Tiger Stadium! Yep, the LSU Tigers took on the Arkansas Razorbacks in what turned out to be a fairly nail-biting game, replete with the pagentry and sheer insanity of the world's pre-eminent tailgating venue. For those on the Great Southern Continent, tailgating will be explained later. Preferably in an interactive manner and before a Western Bulldogs game at Telstra Dome. We'll be giving lessons in the parking lot...

As if going to Tiger Stadium for a real, live SEC football experience wasn't enough of a field trip, Stephen and Joni went on many other adventures during his first trip to America as well. Here, you see Stephen on top of the Louisiana State Capital, with his back to the "mighty Mississippi River".

They also got to see a Civil War battlefield, a World War II destroyer, the Old State Capital, the remains of New Orleans, Port Fourchon, Grand Isle, Lake Verrett, and Joni's beloved Bayou Lafourche. Truly, our favorite couple are some serious nerds, and they are easily amused, which is good. And so it is that they have both found the great nerd love that they both longed for all their very lives...

And then, there was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree....

complete with ornaments that Joni and Stephen purchased at Lowe's right up the street from Joni's apartment.

Thanksgiving 2005 - More Food Than Stephen Can Shake a Stick At...


So, for the first time in his life, Stephen experienced the wonder that is an American Thanksgiving. Yes indeed, the stuff of TV and movie legend, brought right to his life.

Oddly enough, it was not a Midwesterner that our fair Stephen had fallen for. And thus it came to pass that Stephen experienced Thanksgiving on the Bayou... Replete with an entire turkey deep-fried in peanut oil, injected with Cajun Seasonings, and the entire surface suitable for classification as "Premium Croute" was the Bayou Thanksgiving experience.

Upon seeing a pot filled with enough 425-degree peanut oil to consume an entire 13 pound turkey alight over the enchanting blue dancing flames of the seasonal propane burner, Stephen could only remark "My Dad would give anything to see this..." And to think, that was just the 'Very BTNEP Thanksgiving' with Joni's work associates. The family feeds were yet to come! First, there was the big Blanchard Family Thanksgiving, this year hosted at Roland and Stephanie's house on the bank of Bayou Lafourche. This meal, replete with all the Cajun trimmings (rice dressing, turkey, gumbo, rice and gravy, salad, green beans, yams, and assorted desserts) followed by football viewing on TV and accompanied by booze all the way around was just the sort of cultural experience that Stephen had only imagined.

Then, there was the "Very Mediterranean Thanksgiving" supper at the Rathles, which included more booze, mullohekah (no, I really don't know how to spell it right...) stuffed grape leaves and other bits of Med-Love and followed by playing with the young of the clan and more TV.

August, 2005 - "People Do It Every Day"

So, on August 9, 2005, Joni got brought to the airport to get on a plane and fly across the world to actually, really, meet Stephen. Yes, this was daunting, to say the least, and even a bit scary. O.K. - WAY more than a bit scary. Terrifying. But necessary. So, the only thing that got Joni through the flights was the mantra "People do it every day." As in: people fall in love every day. People meet people every day. People fly around the world every day. People do extraordinary things every single day for a million reasons, so this thing can't be that big a deal or that scary an enterprise. Riiiggghhhtttt....


Needless to say, obviously, things went really well, and obviously, things worked out. And the thing that was the hardest in the end was going to the airport and walking away at the end of those first two weeks together to go back to separate lives across the world from one another. As evidenced by the email that Joni got from Stephen when she arrived back at her apartment at 4 a.m. after having flown back across the world:

"My own dearest Joni,
It’s now 11:42AM on Tuesday, and I guess your plane is now somewhere in the sky above Melbourne. I’m typing this at my place, I’ve got the You-Me-Us music on and a cup of coffee from the plunger at my elbow. I decided not to go back to the office today. I just found all I wanted to do was come back here and cling on to your ghost. When I walked in the door here, I nearly broke down. I miss you so much, so much, so much. As I sit here, I know the feeling you had of wanting to throw up. I can smell your hair on your pillow. The smell of your cooking hangs in the air, and I find myself aching for you in ways I didn’t know existed. I’m still glad though that I came back here. I’m glad – and pleased – to find that I miss you so much it hurts. And I was close to tears when I found your note under my mouse mat.
My dearest, dearest Joni, I don’t think I’m going to cope well without you. At first, I wasn’t sure about having you in my life, at least in the way it has turned out. But now, I don’t like to think about it without you.
I don’t know what else to say. I keep looking around and everything I see reminds me of you. Including the CD copy of the report on the Third Delta Conveyance Channel Project. I never thought such a thing could shake me up so much.
===
OK, just got back – went and heated up a bowl of Kajun Kangaroo. I looked at the rest of the flat while I was doing it. Precious, lovesome Joni, I will make this place better. I will make myself better. All I want now is to be the man you deserve.
Dearest one, I don’t know what else to say. I’m almost in tears at this point. The last two weeks have been beyond my dreams, and like you I think they have to have been the best two weeks of my life. You have made my life more perfect and wonderful than I could ever deserve to have had it. I will now, most definitely, be waiting for the days and weeks to pass until I can step off the plane in your world and again feel you in my arms and to kiss your sweet lips and face again.
I love you Joni. Hopelessly, hopelesly, hopelessly.
Stephen"

And then, there was, of course, mutual longing. Herewith is Joni's 4 a.m. reply to Stephen's email above:

"My dearest love Stephen,
Its now about 3 a.m. here, and I have just gotten out of the shower, hair dripping and all, and all I can say is "me too". I know that's feeble and infinitely less than the epic ballad ye deserve describing how I have cried on every plane I've been on today, in every airport, and am crying right now. I have looked at photos of us at intervals all day today, and all I can say is that every single mile of my journey, of any future journeys, any hardships, any anything that it takes to put me back in your arms is worth it and then so much more.
Also, in fairness, there's another note lurking in your flat. Look on top of the microwave, between the two tins of biscuits. (I can't believe I just called the little butter cookies biscuits... see what you've done to me in two short weeks?) Oh, and there's one I wrote on your blotter on your desk on the right hand side of said blotter.
I love you so deeply Stephen, and whatever happens with us will be worth every minute of this wrenching heartache, for you have made my life and my world and me so much better than I ever thought possible.
I love you and I miss you,
With all my love,
Your Princess"